With dirty dishes in the sink, baby food stains on my clothes, play dough stuck in the carpet, meat trying to desperately defrost ten minutes before dinner, and hair in a messy pony tail, I tend to lose perspective. Suddenly, my husband goes from the love of my life to a lazy, never around dud as fast as Clark Kent changes into Superman.
This is the attitude that hits my husband like a Mac truck as soon as he walks in the door after a long hard day at work. It is no surprise that a fight too ridiculous to even admit to ensues. We then spend the evening having a quiet dinner and watching TV with ourselves. Can you see where that evening went wrong? Can you see that even a tiny act of disrespect can erode at a marriage?
The descent of a marriage begins with a hint of selfishness and disrespect. When we begin to forget that we are on the same side, we begin to feel isolated, unappreciated and frustrated. Those are feelings that build up in our marriage like a poison builds up in our body. This does not mean that a wife holds sole responsibility for the health and well being of a marriage.
However, we can only change our own attitude. We need to face our failings and take ownership of our flaws. A wife tears down the walls of her marriage each time she allows herself to disrespect her husband based on her own frustration. Our husbands cannot be held responsible for the dirty dishes and play dough on the carpet while he has been at work just as we are not responsible for his boss yelling or not finding a good parking space that day. We need to see each other as a haven, instead of allowing the frustrations of the day to rule our attitudes or cause us to blame the other person.
When our husbands walk through the door, it should be like the desert experiencing the rain not another dirty dish thrown in the sink. We greet them at the door with appreciation for the time he puts in at work. Smile! We build the walls of our marriage on teamwork, love, respect, admiration and a sense that we are on this life’s journey together.
I promise that they will join us by adding bricks to that wall! When we experience bad days, let this remind us that our husbands also experience bad days, and we need each other for comfort. So instead of having a quiet dinner because we can’t yell and swallow at the same time, let’s have a quiet dinner embracing the peace of mind we bring to each other. If our husbands replace chocolate and become a relaxing element in our lives, we may even lose a few pounds.
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
– Proverbs 14:1 (KJV)
“Dear Heavenly Father, as we build our homes and families, please allow us to never forget who we are in You. Allow us to remember the building blocks of love, compassion and respect that must go into our homes. None of us, Lord, want to tear our homes down. We rely on you to guide us daily and order our steps so we can fulfill the role You have granted us. Help us to remember to trust in You and reflect your love, especially when we’re building…”